is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
