This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
