I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I believe in your delicious
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
