Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
