dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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