Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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