There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
