Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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