Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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