im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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