OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
