You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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