sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
God, I missed his penis.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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