i was rollin on her like bob the builder
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
well you can't waste a boner
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
