David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
