You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
