My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ketchup is God's man juice
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize