everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
