oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
