Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
