it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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