I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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