A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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