Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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