she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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