Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
