I hate all girls vehemently.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
