What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
