I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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