i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
