I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
