Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
