i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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