Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
