Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
