i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
