WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
