Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
