I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
