drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
