Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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