I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
