then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
