Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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