Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
too bad you live with your parents still
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
smell my finger.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
