So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
