Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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