I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
