I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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