that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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