WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
